Blossom by Edie Bryant

Author:Edie Bryant [Bryant, Edie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-24T06:00:00+00:00

8

Olive

Never before had I been devastated by a break up. I hadn’t even been bothered by one, honestly.

And I was devastated now.

I’d been acting like a fucking crazy person. I called Gabby all the time, though she never picked up. I knocked on her door, though she never came to it.

She didn’t completely ignore me, though. The next day, she left me a note on my apartment door. It didn’t say much, just that she was sorry for how the night ended and she needed some time to think.

But how could I do that? I knew I should be respectful of that. I knew I should just give her the time she was asking for. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to be without her.

Especially like this. This felt like such a big misunderstanding.

I didn’t even really understand what happened. We were getting along so well. Our relationship was near perfect. We never fought about a thing. Every night I spent with her was complete bliss.

We had only been with one another a matter of months. So, realistically, I knew it wasn’t the strongest of relationships. But it felt like it for me. In my mind, this relationship was serious.

I felt a little stupid admitting that to myself, but the truth was, I actually thought that this was it for me. That this was the last relationship I’d have. I really could see myself marrying Gabby one day. Maybe even having kids with her.

But somehow, she had some crazy idea that she wasn’t good enough for me?! She was everything I could ever want! She was it for me.

I got this idea in my head that if I was only able to tell her this, things would be fixed. She simply didn’t understand.

I didn’t care what her home life was like. It didn’t affect who she was to me now. She was nothing like her dysfunctional parents. She was a good person. She was a good partner to me and that was all that mattered.

I guess I did understand the fear, though I couldn’t relate to it. I obviously didn’t have the same fears as her. But would I, in her situation? If my parents were complete shit?

I might. I probably would have been concerned about what kind of partner and eventually parent I would be if I never had any decent role models. In a way, it was a legitimate fear. We become what we’ve learned.

But that didn’t mean you let that fear rule your life! If you were concerned about what you were going to turn out to be, you did everything you could to control it. If you didn’t think you could fit into a functional family? That was something for therapy! That was something that could be controlled.

She should have known this. Even more, she should have known that if she had worries, I was there for her. I could help her work through her fears. But instead, she just ran away from me. Wouldn’t even allow me to speak my piece.

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